ise kekere

Ise kekere

Lagos- a land flowing with milk and sewage; of course we all want the milk and not the sewage; people have found ingenious ways of separating water from wine easily in Lagos. Ise n’ise nje. There are plumbers, craftsmen, civil servants, teachers, pastors, ladies of easy virtue, music men, policemen, politicians etc. Jobs in all shapes and form abound in Lag, some toil, some just flourish. Some labour, some simply feed on the sweat of others, some live beyond their means, others live on people’s show of extravagance. Ise n’ise nje, eni to ba jale lo bomo je (strive to make a decent living, whatever you do, avoid nefarious means)

Isn’t all of existence supposedly vanity? Why then do some spend so much time and effort on winning other people’s recognition? I wonder o, eeyan mi. Impressing at all cost, oftentimes at costs you can ill afford. Well that is the life in Lagos. Image is everything, affordability is nothing. I was with a baba alaye friend this weekend on the island to discuss a pressing matter, during my time with him, an uncle of his popped in to repay a loan of two hundred thousand naira back to my pal. Seeing me off to the car, we saw some area boys. They started hailing my friend and calling him all sorts of names I never knew he had (you know what I mean). Tuale, baba koni baje fun e, owo meji fun eeyan kan, chairmo and all sorts of other accolades were coming from these obviously drug infested minds upon my friend. For an instance, I was scared thinking they were robbers, but after some few seconds, I could tell that they are just jobless boys in the neighbourhood who make their living on misdemeanours and other forms of petty wrongdoings. My friend baba alaye surprised me, I mean o jomi loju. In my presence, he brought a wad of twenty thousand naira in the one thousand naira denomination out and sprayed it on those boys. Immediately, there was an instant uproar of jubilation, militant style.

Well, it’s not my money, they are not my neighbours and my opinion didn’t mean much. Narrating the whole show of shame to my wife who happens to be more naija compliant than myself on my return, she simply laughed and said ‘Sirkay that is naija for you. People spend with reckless abandon; but should we not thank God for Lagos; a place where you can make money by mere shamelessly greeting people with strange words’. Imagine, those boys went home 20k richer. Some people make money playing football professionally, some make more money analysing football. That is life for us. Well sha, my take, God on my side, ‘ise kekere owo nla’, minimal effort, maximal rewards.